Being Matured

“Big girl already, you must be matured. Happy Birthday, my dear.”
“Yea ok, thanks mom.”

That was my mom’s way to wish me during my birthday. Every year the similar old sentences repeated till I knew when she is going to say that. I thought and thought … and then thought some more. She might mean more than what I knew. A simple sentence, but with lots of theory to understand.

Soon I came to the age that I need to pursue my tertiary education. The result from local university was out and I was lucky to be given a chance to enter local university, getting the course I want. I can just say that I am in luck. There’s a proverb saying that one can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. Leaving my family behind, I went to Kelantan- one of the East Coast state in Malaysia.

My family gave me full support and accompanied me there. When they drove away, the surrounding is so quiet. I heard nothing as if temporary deaf except for the buzzing sound. The big campus of mine fit nothing else except me alone. My sense of direction even left me alone. Helplessly, I stood still watching their car moving further and further away from me every second.

“Mom, Dad. Please come back…” I said in an undertone, having my tears wetting my face. I helplessly allow my tears trickled down my cheeks while forcing myself to have a broad smile at my parents’ car.

It was my first time being here, being alone in a place without my parents’ accompaniment. It was my first time feeling so lost because I knew no one here. Lots of first time in my life happened here. They have put me into no choice but to have kept all my misses to my family and home and faced the reality happening in front of me.
Here I experienced different culture. I had to take the initiative to be friendly and got to know friends as no man is an island. I had to adapt to the surrounding by making new friends. I learned to be cooperative and worked together in groups. New environment, new lecturers, new friends, new home, will all these shape a new me?
Soon, lessons starts, and lesson ends.

Looking in surprise, I said: “Oh my! So fast. Finish a chapter?
“It’s like that. Don’t be surprised, Yong.”
“Lots of things to study for this chapter, but lecturer just took an hour to finish up the chapter,”
“It is the university style of teaching. No more spoon feeding. We have to read it ourselves. Sigh…”

Can I really do it? Self-discipline is so much needed here. I missed my family members. I missed my bed. I missed my hometown. Culture is so much different here. It is quite hard to find Chinese cuisine here. Furthermore, I am a vegetarian, even harder for me to hunt for food.

“My dear, no worries, you can do it.”
“But, I have lost my confidence.”
“Believe in yourself. I always believe my daughter is able to cope it.”
“Ok. I will try first.”
“ But, remember, do not stress out yourself. Do what you can. Ok?”
“Ok, I miss you so much, Mom. Thanks a lot. I …”

Pom! The slam of the door woke me up from my daydreaming. Lecturer arrived. I missed my family too much till I thought of them even during lessons. Assignment here, class assessment around the corner. Not enough time. Stress level maximum. Argh… I need a break.

After being here for almost 3 months, I adapted to the situation. I finally understood the meaning of matured. Not only to be grown up in physically, but also grown up in mentally where I am being responsible of what I need to do. The obstacles I faced have stacked up my experience like building blocks where I am able to face more things and settle them by myself. They shaped me into a more mature me.

Smiling to her, I said: “Mom, I am big girl already. I am matured enough to settle things in my own way. Happy birthday, mom!”